Cradled instead of corrected.
Sometimes, I get anxious as hell and there’s no tellin’ when it’ll come around or how long it’ll stay. Sometimes that anxiety drives me to clean obsessively, panic about every crumb and imperfection, and run around like my head’s on fire. Sometimes, a strong dislike of self arises (old friend) and hangs around to remind me of all the things that might be out of place. Sometimes I am irritable and uncomfortably restless.
I find that sometimes I pray for these things to be corrected. I find that when these things arise the first inclination is often to do anything possible to make them not so.
Today, though, I’m lighting a different candle: what if these things need not be corrected, but only cradled? What if these things are merely trying to find a safe home to exist? What if the best mode of correction would simply be to accept everything that arises totally and completely and hold it all gently instead?
I find that the minute I open my heart to all that I normally view as an error, a mistake, or an imperfection, a grace and ease floods the tension that is created by resistance. I release the need to control all that’s arising and I instead see that everything has its place, that not everything need be corrected, and that even sadness, anxiety, and despair deserve a seat at the table.
When we hold it all with conscious presence, we say a big-time YES to life. When we can sit with ourselves in conscious presence, we are giving a gift to humanity — we are holding ancient emotion, contraction, dis-ease, and discomfort that has simply been waiting for the light of awareness to greet it.
So, today I say YES. Yes to anxiety. Yes to discomfort. Yes to imperfection. Yes to flaws and cracks and messes and dust and dirt. Yes to despair. Yes to sadness and grief and contraction.
Yes to life, wholly.